The Love That Never Was

The very day you said no,
I turned my back on it,
Laid so much mud on top of it,
Bullied myself to let it go.

And I managed.

Drew countless breaths,
And didn’t think of you;
Heartbeats by the millions,
Not one memory of you.

Blood drains from my fake cool face.
Yet I choose to ignore the wounds.
Forgetting you has turned into a race,
And as I run, my soul dilutes.

I’m just hiding
And it shows.
This self-deceit wave, I keep riding.
I should already know.
The love that never was,
Is alive and biting,
I couldn’t just murder it so.

And if this love ever dies,
I’ll be crushed
By the weight of my own lies.
I was too scared to mourn,
And because of it,
No love without scars will be born.